The teacher asked a little boy:
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a minute later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: Thatβs my point. We canβt see God because he isnβt there. He doesnβt exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions. The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy:
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yesssssssss (getting tired of the questions by this time).
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssssssss.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No.
LITTLE GIRL: Then, according to what we were taught in the school todayβ¦she must not have one!!
Here are some funny one-liner jokes for you β short, punchy, and easy to drop anywhere:
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes⦠she hugged me.
- My wallet is like an onion β opening it makes me cry.
- I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, βTheyβre right behind you.β
- Iβm reading a book on anti-gravity β itβs impossible to put down.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Iβm great at multitasking β I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
- Iβm on a whiskey diet. Iβve lost three days already.
- I donβt trust stairs β theyβre always up to something.
- My boss told me to have a good day⦠so I went home.
- Parallel lines have so much in common. Itβs a shame theyβll never meet.
- I told my computer I needed a break β now it wonβt stop sending me KitKat ads.
- Iβm not arguing, Iβm just explaining why Iβm right.
- Why donβt skeletons fight each other? They donβt have the guts.
- I put my root beer in a square glass. Now itβs just beer.
- Iβm on a seafood diet β I see food, and I eat it.
- The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. It was tense.
- I told my phone I needed space, and now weβre no longer talking.
- I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
- I would tell you a construction joke, but Iβm still working on it.
- My doctor told me Iβm going deaf β that news was hard to hear.