I have PCOS and get brutal periods. My husband has always dismissed my pain, calling me “dramatic”. He said his mom told him women “milk it” for attention. The other day, I discovered a small device inside a plant in our bedroom. Alarmed, I asked him. He admitted that my MIL planted it there to “catch me faking”.
At first, I laughed—this dry, awkward chuckle that didn’t sound like me. I thought maybe he was joking. But the look in his eyes wasn’t playful. It was… embarrassed. Caught. Still trying to justify it.
“She just wanted to prove what she’s always said,” he mumbled. “That you fake being sick to avoid chores.”
I didn’t even know what to say. I sat down on the edge of the bed, numb. My husband—someone I trusted with everything—let his mother install a surveillance device in our own bedroom.
“It’s not a big deal,” he said, like he was trying to calm me. “It’s just a little recording thing. She thought maybe hearing the truth would help me see your side.”
I stood up. “You mean you needed proof of my suffering? You couldn’t just… believe me?”
He opened his mouth, then closed it. And for the first time since we got married, I saw him as a stranger.
I packed a bag that night. Just essentials. I didn’t even cry until I got in the car. I drove to my sister Alina’s place, two towns over. She opened the door and didn’t ask a single question, just hugged me so tight I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore.
Over the next few days, I stayed in her guest room, curled up with a hot water bottle, crying off and on. Alina made tea, watched dumb shows with me, and didn’t push. I didn’t tell her everything right away—I wasn’t ready—but when I finally did, she looked furious.
“He what?” she snapped. “He let that witch put a spy device in your bedroom? What the actual—”
I nodded. “And the worst part? He thought it was reasonable.”
Alina shook her head. “Girl, that’s not love. That’s control. That’s gaslighting. That’s—you know what? I’ll shut up. But you deserve so much better.”
I knew she was right, but still, a part of me kept wondering how did it get this far? When we were dating, he was sweet, funny, patient. His mom wasn’t always the warmest, but I didn’t think much of it. I figured we’d make our own space, our own life.
But slowly, things changed.
His mom started calling me lazy when I couldn’t come to family events during flare-ups. She said I was “always sick”, rolling her eyes behind my back, but sometimes right in front of me.
He never defended me. He’d just smile awkwardly or stay silent. I thought maybe he was trying to keep the peace.
Turns out, he was slowly starting to believe her.
A week later, he texted.
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let it happen. Come home. Let’s talk.
I didn’t answer.
The next day, he sent a photo. He’d taken the plant—with the device still inside—and smashed it to pieces.
Proof I’m done letting her interfere. I’ll do therapy. Anything. Please.
Alina looked over my shoulder at the message. “Do not let one broken plant fool you. He didn’t break your trust to fix it with a hammer.”
I almost laughed. She was right.
Still, I was torn. You don’t just walk away from a marriage overnight, even when the pain is fresh. But you do walk away when your body and soul are constantly disrespected.
So I told him I needed time and space, and that I was staying with Alina until further notice.
Three weeks passed. I focused on healing—mentally, emotionally, and physically. I finally got an appointment with a compassionate gynecologist who took my pain seriously. She adjusted my treatment and even helped me find a local support group.
At the group, I met others like me—people battling PCOS and endometriosis, many of them dismissed by doctors, partners, family. It was strangely comforting. Their stories mirrored mine, sometimes even worse.
There was one woman, Nadia, who said her husband used to make fun of her bloating. “He called me balloon girl,” she said, her voice soft. “Until he saw me collapse in pain and pass out. He freaked out, called 911, and started crying on the phone.”
We all nodded.
“Sometimes,” she added, “people need a slap of reality. Not a literal one, but something big enough to wake them up.”
That line stuck with me.
Two months after I left, my husband showed up at Alina’s doorstep.
I didn’t want to see him. But Alina, ever the protector, said, “If you don’t want to talk, I’ll handle it.”
But something in me needed closure. So I agreed—fifteen minutes, outside.
He looked thinner. Tired. He had a notebook in his hand.
“I’ve been going to therapy,” he started. “She helped me realize… I was raised in a home where emotions were either mocked or ignored. And that I brought that into our marriage. I’m so sorry.”
I stayed quiet.
“I listened to the device’s recordings,” he said suddenly. “It only had one week of audio before it stopped. And… I heard everything. You sobbing in the bathroom. You whispering, ‘Please let this pass’ while curled in bed. I even heard you praying.”
My chest tightened. I didn’t know it recorded that.
“I was ashamed,” he went on. “Like, really ashamed. I kept thinking—how did I not see it? How did I need proof to believe the woman I vowed to protect?”
He handed me the notebook.
“I’ve been writing to you. Every day. Just things I remembered. Ways I could’ve been better. Things I ignored. Stuff I never apologized for. You don’t have to read it. But I needed to give it to you.”
I took the notebook, hands trembling. I didn’t promise anything, just nodded and told him I needed more time.
Over the next week, I read it.
He had written pages upon pages.
Little things, like:
“I shouldn’t have laughed when you said your cramps felt like knives. I should’ve asked what you needed.”
“I remember once you passed me a heating pad, but I said I was too tired to plug it in for you. I’m disgusted with myself.”
“I let my mom’s bitterness shape how I saw you. That was a betrayal. I’m sorry.”
He ended it with:
“I don’t expect forgiveness. I just hope I’ve changed enough to never hurt anyone else like this again.”
I cried. Again. But this time, it wasn’t out of pain.
It was a strange mix—relief that he saw the truth now, but sadness that it took this much for him to see me.
A month later, I filed for a legal separation.
Not because I wanted to punish him. But because I needed to choose me.
He didn’t fight it. Instead, he sent me one last message:
Thank you for teaching me, even in your silence. I hope I never forget what you showed me about strength.
In time, I moved out of my sister’s place and into a cozy little apartment near the park. I painted the kitchen pale yellow, filled the windows with plants, and adopted a cat named Rumi.
Life didn’t magically get easy. I still had bad flare-ups, still cried sometimes when I saw couples holding hands.
But I also smiled more. Laughed louder. I reconnected with parts of myself I hadn’t touched in years.
One day, I posted on social media about what had happened—not the whole surveillance part, but enough to talk about how medical gaslighting can feel like slow erosion.
The post went viral. Thousands of comments. People saying, “This is me. This is my life.”
I started a blog. Just short entries about living with chronic pain and finding your voice.
One of my posts—“You Don’t Need Proof to Deserve Care”—got shared by a major women’s health page. I began doing Q&As, talking on small podcasts, and connecting with women across the globe.
One day, I got an email from a 19-year-old girl in Ohio. She said:
“Your story stopped me from going back to someone who said my pain was in my head. I’m starting over, too. Thank you.”
And in that moment, everything made sense.
That humiliating device, that betrayal, the heartbreak—it had all somehow led me here. To helping others feel seen.
Here’s what I learned:
You are not dramatic for knowing your pain. You are not “milking it” when you ask for rest. You are not broken for needing time.
And love? Real love doesn’t ask for proof. It shows up. It listens. It learns.
If someone in your life dismisses your truth, that says everything about them and nothing about you.
My story didn’t end with a perfect reunion. But it ended with me, standing tall. And that’s a reward I never saw coming.
If this story made you feel something—if you saw yourself in it—please share it. Someone out there needs to hear it today. ❤️
