Me Green Me

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  I Fired The Old Cleaning Lady For Being Late. Now The Ceo Is On His Knees.

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  I Told A “dirty Farmer” To Get Off The Showroom Floor. He Came Back With My Boss.

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  The Salesman Laughed At My Muddy Boots. Then I Wrote A Check For Ten Trucks.

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  Five Truckers Formed A Wall To Save The Ducks. Then One Of Them Put On Latex Gloves.

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  A Line Of Truckers Blocked The Highway For Ducks. But They Weren’t Looking At The Ducks.

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  The Salesman Told The “hobo” To Use The Service Entrance. He Didn’t Know He Was Talking To His New Boss.

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  I Told The Old Man In Work Boots To Leave The Porsche Dealership. Then My Boss Showed Me The News.

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  They Asked To Borrow Money After I Won The Lottery. I Said No. Then They Gave Me A Cake.

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  I Won $40 Million. I Told My Wife We Were Destitute To See If She Would Stay. She Went To The Basement And Loaded A Gun.

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  I Saved A Girl From A House Fire. My Boss Fired Me For “property Damage” Before The Ash Fell.

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  I Got Fired For Pulling A Grandma From A Fire. Then I Saw Her Son’s Name On The News.

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  He Tipped Zero And Told Me To “find A Husband.” He Forgot I Buried Him Five Years Ago.