Me Green Me

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  AITA FOR REFUSING TO GIVE UP MY PLANE SEAT TO A MOM WITH A BABY—EVEN AFTER I HEARD WHO SHE WAS?

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  AM I THE ASSHOLE FOR REFUSING TO MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE MY BROTHER CLAIMS WAS ‘NEVER REALLY MINE’?

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  AITA FOR LEAVING MY MOM’S BIRTHDAY DINNER AFTER WHAT MY BROTHER SAID—WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE WHY?

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  AITA FOR SHOWING UP TO MY SISTER’S WEDDING IN THE DRESS SHE TOLD ME NOT TO WEAR?

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  SHE USED TO HIDE WHEN POLICE DROVE BY—UNTIL THAT DAY ON OUR STREET

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  HE LEFT DOG-SITTING NOTES ON EVERY DOOR—BUT IT WASN’T REALLY ABOUT THE DOGS

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  EVERYONE CALLED HIM THE JANITOR—BUT TO MY SON, HE WAS SOMETHING ELSE

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  HE NAMED THE CALF “BUTTONS”—BUT ONCE THE TRUCK PULLED UP, GRANDPA WOULDN’T LOOK HIM IN THE EYE

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  MY MOTHER-IN-LAW TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME—AND THEN SHE SHOWED ME EXACTLY WHAT THAT MEANT

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  SHE COOKED DINNER FOR US EVERY NIGHT—AND REMINDED ME WITH EVERY BITE THAT I’M NOT HER

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  SHE STOPPED CRYING THE MOMENT HE HELD HER—BUT THEN THE NURSE LOOKED AT HIS FILE

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  PEOPLE KEPT PASSING US BY—UNTIL HE MADE A BED OUT OF TRASH