Me Green Me

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  MY BOYFRIEND WANTS ME TO MOVE IN WITH HIM AND PAY FOR HIS MORTGAGE

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  MY NIECE CALLED ME TO GET HER FROM A SLUMBER PARTY

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  I RESCUED A STRAY CAT – BUT HE ENDED UP SAVING ME IN RETURN

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  I FOUND OUT MY SON WAS PLANNING TO CHEAT ON MY LOVELY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AND DROPPED IN ON HIS DATE WITH HIS MISTRESS

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  I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN’T GET AN INVITE TO MY CLOSE FRIEND’S WEDDING — WHEN I CRASHED IT, I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD WHY.

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  I FOUND THE TEXT THAT ENDED MY MARRIAGE

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  MY SISTER STOLE MY FIANCÉ A MONTH BEFORE THE WEDDING, AND MY PARENTS TOOK HER SIDE – I PAID THEM A VISIT AT THEIR WEDDING

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  I ASKED MY NEIGHBOR TO CLEAN UP AFTER USING MY BBQ — THE NEXT DAY, SHE LEFT HER OWN “RULES” ON MY DOOR, BUT I SHUT THAT DOWN.

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  I ADOPTED THE OLDEST SHELTER DOG WITH ONLY A MONTH TO LIVE – MY HUSBAND GAVE ME AN ULTIMATUM, “ME OR THE DOG”

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  MY HUSBAND BROUGHT HIS MISTRESS HOME AND TOLD ME HE WAS KICKING ME OUT — LITTLE DID HE KNOW HE’D BE HOMELESS AN HOUR LATER.

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  A Father’s Love Never Fades

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  MY EX-HUSBAND ASKED ME TO BE A SURROGATE FOR HIM AND HIS NEW WIFE — IT ENDED DIFFERENTLY THAN HE EXPECTED.