Me Green Me

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  MY BEST FRIEND ASKED ME TO BE HER BRIDESMAID—BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW I DATED HER FIANCÉ

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  MY HUSBAND’S ‘WORK TRIP’ ENDED EARLY—BECAUSE HIS MISTRESS’ HUSBAND FOUND ME FIRST

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  THE ELDERLY MAN AT THE NURSING HOME HELD MY HAND—AND TOLD ME A SECRET HE NEVER SHARED WITH ANYONE

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  THE ELDERLY LADY AT THE PARK FED THE BIRDS EVERY DAY—UNTIL ONE DAY, SHE DIDN’T SHOW UP

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  THE LITTLE GIRL IN THE HOSPITAL BED WOULDN’T LET GO OF MY HAND—AND I’LL NEVER FORGET WHY

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  LITTLE GIRL IS CAUGHT STEALING, BUT WHEN THE CASHIER LEARNS WHY, SHE MAKES AN UNTHINKABLE DECISION

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  MY BEST FRIEND INVITED ALL HIS FRIENDS AND THEIR PLUS-ONES TO HIS WEDDING, EXCEPT MY GIRLFRIEND—I THOUGHT HE WAS KIDDING WHEN I FOUND OUT WHY 

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  I CAME HOME FROM DEPLOYMENT EARLY – ONLY TO FIND MY WIFE IN BED WITH THIS MAN

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  ON THE MORNING OF OUR WEDDING, MY FIANCÉ’S PARENTS ANNOUNCED THEY WEREN’T COMING — THEIR REASON MADE ME GO PALE

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  MY MIL WAS CONSTANTLY NAGGING ABOUT MY SON LOOKING NOT LIKE MY HUSBAND

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  MY MIL KICKED MY MOM OUT OF THE DELIVERY ROOM BECAUSE SHE “WASN’T PAYING THE HOSPITAL BILL” 

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  EVERY TIME HIS SON COMES OVER, MY HUSBAND ASKS ME TO DISAPPEAR FROM MY HOUSE TO PLEASE HIS EX – UNTIL ONE DAY, I DIDN’T FOLLOW THE PLAN