Me Green Me

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  911 GETS CALL FROM SCARED WOMAN, OPERATOR REALIZES SHE IS IN TROUBLE

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  HE PUSHED MY CAR UP A HILL—BUT WHAT I FOUND IN MY BACK SEAT AFTERWARD SHOOK ME

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  HE ASKED FOR A TOY, BUT WHAT HE REALLY WANTED LEFT THE DEPUTY SPEECHLESS

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  HE JUST NEEDED $25 FOR A HAIRCUT—BUT WHAT HE DID WITH IT SHOOK ME

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  MY PARENTS SAID SHE’S “TOO BIG” FOR ME—BUT THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M ABOUT TO DO

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  I TOOK A SCARF FROM THE FENCE—BUT I DIDN’T EXPECT TO FIND THAT IN THE POCKET

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  I PAID FOR A STRANGER’S GROCERIES TWO YEARS AGO—AND TODAY, I GOT THIS IN THE MAIL

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  I FOUND A NOTE ON MY DASH—AND SOMEONE THANKED ME FOR WAITING

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  HE STANDS THERE EVERY MORNING—BUT HE’S NOT ASKING FOR A THING

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  I WAS ABOUT TO GET TOWED—UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED “METER HOMIE” SHOWED UP

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  HE GAVE HIS UMBRELLA TO A STRAY CAT—AND THAT’S NOT EVEN THE PART THAT GOT ME

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  HE WOULDN’T LET GO OF THE CHICKEN—AND I DIDN’T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HIM WHY SHE WAS MISSING YESTERDAY