Me Green Me

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  I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A MARRIED MAN—AND NOW HIS WIFE IS BLAMING ME FOR THEIR DIVORCE

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  MY HUSBAND CHEATED—SO I SLEPT WITH HIS BROTHER, AND NOW I’M PREGNANT

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  MY DAUGHTER WON A TOUR WITH THE SHERIFF—BUT HE RECOGNIZED HER BEFORE SHE SAID HER NAME

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  MY SON WANTED A PICTURE WITH THE K-9 UNIT—THEN THE OFFICER ASKED IF I WAS MADDIE

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  SHE USED TO KISS HIM THROUGH THE CAR WINDOW—NOW SHE WALKS TO THE MARKET BY HERSELF

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  I CAUGHT A STRANGER READING MY MOM’S WILL ON THE TRAIN—BUT HE’S NOT IN OUR FAMILY

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  HE DANCED WITH MY MOM AT THE WEDDING—AND THEN SHE TOLD HIM SOMETHING NONE OF US KNEW

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  THESE BIKERS MADE MY DAUGHTER SMILE—BUT ONE OF THEM KNEW HER NAME WITHOUT ASKING

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  HE STARTED FEEDING THE DOG OFF HIS PLATE—BUT THEN I SAW WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON

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  I SHOWED UP FOR A FAMILY PHOTO—AND FOUND OUT I MIGHT INHERIT SOMETHING I WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT

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  THE COP BOUGHT MY SON ICE CREAM—AND THAT’S WHEN I NOTICED HIS TATTOO

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  I MET MY GRANDSON BY ACCIDENT—AND HIS MOM STILL DOESN’T KNOW