Me Green Me

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  HE FOUND MY SON WALKING ALONE WITH A STUFFED DOG—AND DIDN’T CALL CPS

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  I NEVER TRUSTED COPS—UNTIL HE SHOWED UP IN A DOG COSTUME

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  I WAS HIDING IN THE SCHOOL BATHROOM WHEN SHE FOUND ME

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  I FAILED MY DRIVING TEST—BUT THE OFFICER GAVE ME SOMETHING I DIDN’T EXPECT

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  I ARGUED WITH THE OFFICER WHO LATER SERVED MY FAMILY LUNCH

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  HE CALLED 911 BECAUSE HE WAS HUNGRY—AND THEN SHE SHOWED UP

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  I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST A BUSKER—UNTIL HE SAID ONE SENTENCE THAT SHOOK ME

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  SHE JUMPED ON THE POLICE MOTORCYCLE LIKE IT WAS A GAME—BUT SHE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE AT ALL

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  SHE WALKED RIGHT UP TO THE COPS WITH HER FREEZER POP—AND HANDED THEM A NOTE FROM HER MOM

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  HE COMES HERE EVERY DAY—BUT NOT FOR THE PIGEONS

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  THEY ESCORTED US OUT OF THE HOSPITAL—BUT NOT FOR THE REASON YOU THINK

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  I DIDN’T KNOW WHY I WAS INVITED TO THE CEREMONY—UNTIL HE HUGGED ME IN FRONT OF EVERYONE