Me Green Me

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  HE THOUGHT I WAS JUST SOME GUY’S WIFE—UNTIL I PUT ON THE GLOVES

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  SHE TRICKED US INTO COMING HOME—AND THEN BROUGHT DAD BACK TO LIFE IN THE SWEETEST WAY

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  SHE WAS TOO SICK TO SLEEP ALONE, SO I LAID ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR WITH HER

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  I TURNED MY HALLWAY INTO AN OFFICE JUST TO BE CLOSER TO HER

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  I RECOGNIZED THE WOMAN IN HIS FAMILY PHOTO—AND SHE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ALIVE

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  HE SHOWED ME A TEXT RIGHT BEFORE WE SAID “I DO”

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  I FOUND OUT MY SISTER’S “DREAM WEDDING” WAS FUNDED BY MY MOM’S FUNERAL MONEY

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  I POSTED A CASUAL SELFIE AT WORK—AND SOMEONE IN THE COMMENTS KNEW TOO MUCH

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  MY DOG’S HOT DOG COSTUME MADE HER SMILE—BUT THEN SHE ASKED ME A STRANGE QUESTION

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  MY HUSBAND’S “LATE NIGHTS AT WORK” TURNED OUT TO BE NEXT DOOR

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  THE CUSTOMER LEFT HER KEYS—AND HER BABY

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  I LET A STRANGER’S KID FALL ASLEEP ON ME—AND THEN I FOUND OUT WHY HE WAS REALLY ALONE