Me Green Me

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HE SAID “I’M NOT YOUR REAL DAD”—AND MY SON’S ANSWER BROKE ME

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MY DOG SUDDENLY STARTED SLEEPING BESIDE ME EVERY NIGHT—AND THEN THE VET CALLED

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I WENT TO ADOPT A KITTEN—BUT HE CHOSE ME INSTEAD

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I FOUND HER SHIVERING BEHIND A DUMPSTER—AND THEN SOMEONE CLAIMED SHE WASN’T MINE

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SHE THOUGHT HE WAS DANCING—BUT HE WAS ACTUALLY SAYING HELLO

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I GRADUATED AT 42—AND SHE WAS THE ONE WHO TOOK MY PICTURE

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SHE ACCUSED ME OF KIDNAPPING MY OWN SON—AND HE SHUT HER DOWN

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I TOOK HER TO MEET THE MAN I NEVER WANTED TO SEE AGAIN

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I NEVER EXPECTED TO SEE HER RING ON HIS HAND

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SHE SAID SHE WANTED A “LOW-KEY” CEREMONY—BUT NOTHING ABOUT THAT MOMENT FELT SMALL

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I FOUND A LONE PUPPY IN THE TRASH—AND THEN THE CAMERA CAUGHT WHAT I COULDN’T EXPLAIN