Me Green Me

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  THE BUS DRIVER SLAMMED ON THE BRAKES—AND EVERYONE ROLLED THEIR EYES… UNTIL WE SAW WHY

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  SHE WAITED BY THE SIDEWALK EVERY TUESDAY—AND TODAY, SHE FINALLY GOT TO GIVE HIM HER “BIG SECRET”

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  I BROUGHT MY SON TO MEET MY NEW PARTNER FOR THE FIRST TIME — HE LOCKED HIMSELF IN THE BATHROOM AND REFUSED TO COME OUT

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  AFTER YEARS OF INFERTILITY, I FINALLY GOT PREGNANT — BUT WHEN OUR DAUGHTER WAS BORN, MY HUSBAND LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, ‘I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING FIRST.’

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  THEY TRIED TO LIFT HIM ONTO THE STRETCHER—BUT THE DOG WOULDN’T MOVE

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  HE SAID, “I’LL EAT WHEN HE EATS”—AND THAT’S WHEN I STOPPED WALKING

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  THEY FOUND NO SURVIVORS THAT DAY—BUT THE DOG REFUSED TO LEAVE UNTIL THIS HAPPENED

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  STRUGGLING WAITRESS BUYS DINNER FOR A STRANGE OLD MAN — THE NEXT DAY, SECURITY SHOWS UP AT HER JOB ASKING FOR HER BY NAME

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  I FELL ASLEEP READING TO THEM—AND WOKE UP TO SOMETHING I NEVER EXPECTED TO HEAR

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  WELL-DRESSED WOMAN ROLLS HER EYES AT EXHAUSTED DAD BOARDING FIRST CLASS WITH BABY — UNTIL THE CAPTAIN MAKES AN UNEXPECTED ANNOUNCEMENT

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  THEY SAID THEY WERE “JUST LOOKING”—BUT LEFT THE SHELTER WITH A DOG THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

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  MY HUSBAND AND I VOLUNTEERED AT A CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL — THEN A LITTLE BOY WALKED UP WHO LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE MY BROTHER