Me Green Me

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  SHE WAS SIX YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME—AND WHEN A WOMAN ACCUSED ME OF SOMETHING AWFUL, HER RESPONSE STUNNED THE WHOLE ROOM

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  SHE MOVED ME INTO A CARE FACILITY WITHOUT ASKING—THEN TOOK MY HOUSE KEYS. I TOOK BACK THE DEED. SHE’LL BE SHOCKED WHEN SHE SEES WHO INHERITS.

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  THE KIDS LOOKED OUT THEIR HOSPITAL WINDOWS—AND SAW SOMETHING THEY’D NEVER FORGET

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  NO ONE CAME TO HIS PARTY—UNTIL A BUNCH OF STRANGERS IN UNIFORM CHANGED EVERYTHING

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  I THOUGHT THE COPS CAME TO SHUT DOWN MY PARTY—BUT THEN I SAW WHAT THEY WERE HOLDING

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  I LOST HALF MY LIFE TO WORKING OVERTIME SO MY KIDS AND GRANDKIDS COULD HAVE MORE—AND ALL I GOT WAS SILENCE AND A “WE’RE BUSY” TEXT

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  THEY WAITED EVERY THURSDAY FOR THE TRUCK—BUT THIS TIME, THEY HAD A SURPRISE OF THEIR OWN

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  MY GRANDSON TOLD ME I “DIDN’T FIT THE VIBE” OF HIS WEDDING—AFTER I BOUGHT THE DAMN SUIT

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  IT WAS POURING RAIN, HE HAD A WALKER—AND THE GUY FROM WENDY’S DIDN’T EVEN HESITATE

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  I TOOK A SECOND JOB AT 70 TO PAY THEIR RENT—AND THEY BLOCKED ME FOR “OVERSTEPPING”

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  SHE COULDN’T BREATHE, HER LAWN WAS OVERGROWN—AND THEN THESE TWO STRANGERS SHOWED UP

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  HE PULLED UP OUTSIDE THE SHELTER—BUT NOT FOR THE REASON ANYONE EXPECTED