I (29F) have been dating Marcus (34M) for two years. She’s six.
Marcus is great with her, or so I thought. He does the voices in her books, he built her a treehouse, he never once raised his voice at her. My friends and family are split down the middle on this, some think I’m insane for blowing up a good thing over “a kid being a kid.”
Last weekend we stayed at his place for the first time as a trial run before the wedding. Everything seemed normal. Sunny (my daughter) played with his dog, ate his mac and cheese, went to bed fine.
Monday morning in the car, out of nowhere, she said, “Mommy, why does Marcus talk to you like Daddy used to?”
My hands went cold on the wheel.
I asked what she meant. She said, “He does the nice voice when you’re looking. Then when you go get ice for his drink, his face goes flat and he tells you to hurry up. I heard him call you slow.”
I laughed it off in the moment. Told her she was imagining things. But that night I couldn’t sleep, so I started going back through my head, every time Marcus got quiet and short with me the second I stepped out of a room, every time he softened right back up the second I came back.
I asked him about it at dinner two nights later, calm, not accusing, just asking. He set his fork down and said, “She’s SIX. Since when do we take relationship advice from a six year old?”
I said I just wanted to understand what she heard.
He laughed, this short laugh, and said, “You’re really going to let a kid who still believes in the tooth fairy tell you who I am?”
My stomach turned over.
I looked straight at him and said the one thing I’d been chewing on for two days –
For more stories about complicated family dynamics, check out Am I Wrong For Ignoring A Doctor’s Direct Order To Save My Patient? and My Partner Said Her Baby Died. Then She Found Him on a Gurney.. If you’re interested in another story where a child’s observation changes everything, read My 6-Year-Old Daughter Saw What We All Missed. So I Called Out a Dad on the Playground..
