A bit of a backstory. I’m 24 born and raised in this fairly small town, which is surrounded by towns smaller than ours. People from surrounding towns come over to get their degrees/diplomas from my local university and college, because theirs don’t have good ones.
My town is big enough to be a hotspot to surrounding smaller towns, but it’s small enough that most people know each other—or at least each other’s families. I work as an advisor at our local bank branch. About two months ago, we hired a new clerk, a 23-year-old woman named Clara from one of the smaller towns nearby. At first, everything seemed fine. She settled in, joined our friend group, and got along with everyone.
Then, about a month later, she pulled me aside as we were leaving work one evening and asked me out on a date. I was surprised. I politely declined and reminded her that I’m married. My wife and I have been together since we were 15, and everyone at work knows this. I’ve always worn my wedding band, and the topic of my marriage has come up in conversation many times. I thought it was odd she would ask me, especially when there were single guys at work, but I figured it was over and moved on.
When I came back to work that Monday, I learned it wasn’t over. One of my coworkers, who’s also a close friend, told me Clara had started telling people that I had asked her out, wouldn’t take no for an answer, and was even stalking her on Instagram and Snapchat.
Here’s the thing—I don’t even have Instagram or Snapchat. Most of my coworkers knew this, and they also knew how close my wife and I are, so they immediately doubted her story. Still, there were a few people at work who didn’t know me as well and might have believed her.
I decided to stay calm. I told my coworkers the truth about what happened and asked them to just let it go. I didn’t want to escalate things and assumed she was just being childish, maybe struggling to handle rejection. I thought it would blow over.
But then my dad called me. He said a friend of his, who’s also a client at the bank, had heard the rumors and was considering hiring Clara for a new job after she claimed she needed to leave the bank because I was stalking her. That’s when I realized this wasn’t going to just go away. I reported the situation to HR the next day.
HR took it seriously, especially once I mentioned the rumors were reaching clients. They launched an investigation, interviewing Clara, me, and all our coworkers. The security footage showed it was her who stopped me that evening to ask me out, not the other way around.
But it didn’t stop there—when HR confronted her, she produced an Instagram account with my photo on it and claimed it was proof I was stalking her. Except, it wasn’t mine. She had taken a picture of me from one of my coworkers’ profiles and used it to create a fake account. She’d even messaged herself from the fake account to make it look real.
That was the last straw. HR fired her on the spot for spreading malicious rumors and creating a toxic work environment. Since she was still on probation, she didn’t receive severance or any other benefits.
Because this is a small town, word spread quickly. Her chances of finding another job locally are slim, and I can’t help but feel conflicted. On the one hand, I’m relieved she’s gone and that my name is cleared. On the other, I can’t shake the feeling that I might’ve overreacted. Should I have confronted her directly before going to HR? Did I take things too far by escalating it to this level?
At the end of the day, I believe I did what I had to do to protect my reputation and career. But was I the jerk for taking this route and causing her to lose her job?
