My brother, Alex, is getting married next month, and what should have been a joyous family occasion has turned into an unexpected nightmare. The issue? His fiancée, Megan, has decided not to invite my wife, Rachel, to the wedding.
Rachel and I have been married for five years, and while she and Megan have never been particularly close, they’re not enemies either. However, Megan has always seemed a bit cold toward Rachel.
The tension between them first surfaced during a family vacation last year. Rachel, who’s naturally outgoing and loves to connect with people, spent a lot of time chatting with everyone, even strangers at the resort. Megan, who’s more reserved, seemed irritated by Rachel’s behavior.
After the trip, Megan told Alex that Rachel was “attention-seeking” and accused her of making the vacation about herself. I brushed it off at the time, thinking it was just a personality clash.
Fast forward to now, and Megan has made it clear that she doesn’t want Rachel at her wedding. When I confronted Alex about it, he admitted that it was Megan’s decision and said he didn’t want to argue with her because “it’s her day.” He asked me to respect Megan’s wishes and attend the wedding alone, “for the sake of family harmony.”
I was stunned. Rachel is not just my wife but a part of this family. Excluding her feels disrespectful—not just to her but to me as well. When I told Alex that I wouldn’t attend without Rachel, he accused me of being dramatic and trying to punish him for something out of his control. He said I was letting Rachel’s “hurt feelings” ruin his big day.
The situation has divided our family. My dad agrees with me and says Alex and Megan are being unreasonable. My mom, however, thinks I should “keep the peace” and attend the wedding, arguing that “it’s just one day” and that it’s not worth jeopardizing my relationship with my brother.
Rachel has been deeply hurt by the whole ordeal. She feels excluded and disrespected and told me she’d never do something like this to Alex or Megan if the roles were reversed.
She’s trying to be supportive of whatever decision I make, but I can tell how devastated she’d be if I went to the wedding without her. This has put a strain on our marriage, as she feels like I’m not standing up for her enough.
At the same time, Alex is my only sibling, and we’ve always been close. Skipping his wedding would undoubtedly hurt him, and I worry about how this could affect our relationship long-term. Part of me wonders if I should just swallow my pride and go for his sake. But another part of me feels like this isn’t just about one day—it’s about standing up for what’s right and refusing to allow my wife to be disrespected.
I don’t want to ruin my brother’s wedding, but I also don’t want to betray my wife or my principles. So, AITA for refusing to go to my brother’s wedding without Rachel?
