I’m 27 and have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, Emma, who’s also 27, for the past three years. We met at a work conference and hit it off quickly. I’m Hindu—not super devout, but I follow basic practices like avoiding beef and occasionally going to the temple with my parents. Emma was raised Christian but had never been particularly religious. Things were smooth, and about two years ago, we decided to move in together.
Emma is passionate about activism and has been involved in supporting marginalized communities since her college days. Over the past year, she started focusing on international conflicts, attending protests, and working with a local organization. Through this, she became friends with someone who had converted to Islam, and they grew close. A few months later, Emma told me she wanted to convert as well, saying she deeply resonated with the religion.
I told her I respected her choice, even if I didn’t fully understand it. I’ve seen people misinterpret my own religion, so I tried to keep an open mind. Since then, she’s been going to the mosque regularly and has even gotten a Quran.
The tension started when she encouraged me to join her at the mosque. At first, I made excuses, but eventually, I told her outright that I wasn’t interested. She asked me to learn more about Islam, and while I did some research, it didn’t connect with me the way it does for her.
Things escalated when Emma asked me to remove a small Hindu idol my parents gifted us when we moved in. It sits in an unobtrusive corner, but she said it made her uncomfortable. I told her I wouldn’t move it, just as I hadn’t asked her to remove the Quran. She dropped the topic, but the disagreement lingered.
The real conflict came when my parents visited last week. I asked Emma to avoid bringing up religion, knowing it could cause unnecessary tension (my parents can be a bit Islamophobic). During dinner, my mom casually suggested we visit the temple together before they left. Emma told her she couldn’t join because her faith prohibits idol worship. My mom, confused, asked if Emma had started going to church again. Before I could redirect the conversation, Emma announced that she’d converted to Islam and found her calling in the religion.
My parents handled it gracefully, but I could tell they were uncomfortable. When it was just the three of us, my mom gently warned me not to let Emma pressure me into converting. They didn’t outright tell me to break up with her, but the subtext was clear.
When I got home, Emma accused me of abandoning her by going to the temple with my parents. I explained that it had always been the plan, and I didn’t force her to join. She then told me I shouldn’t have gone at all, as idol worship is a sin in Islam and she only wants the best for me.
I got angry again and told her that she has stop all the preaching that she’s doing to me as it is seriously putting a strain on our relationship. I told her that living together before getting married is also forbidden under her religion so is some of the activism that she has been a part of before this. I reminded her that I don’t impose my beliefs on her, and I’d appreciate the same in return.
The argument escalated further when Emma brought up marriage the next day. She said we should get married as soon as possible, citing advice she’d gotten from her new community. I told her I’d think about it, mostly to avoid another fight. But the truth is, I’m unsure about everything now. I was seriously considering proposing before all this, but the constant pressure and differences in our beliefs are making me rethink our future.
I respect Emma’s decision to convert, but I feel like her new beliefs are beginning to dominate our relationship. I don’t see myself converting or adopting practices that conflict with my values, and it feels like we’re growing in opposite directions.
So, would I be wrong to break up with her because of her religion? Or should I try harder to make this work?
